a new year, a new project, & a tour
“Just as you feel when you look on the river and sky, so I felt. Just as any of you is one of a living crowd, I was one of a crowd… what is it then between us?.. Whatever it is, it avails not.”
Today we’re announcing our first tour. Here’s how I’m feeling about it.
I spent most of my early twenties dreaming about being in an honest-to-god, 100% real, lack-of-sleep-eat-like-shit-never-shower, Get In The Van B A N D. And when I wasn’t watching Pinegrove tour diaries and KEXP live sets obsessively, I was writing the songs that I hoped would one day be played on a stage somewhere further flung than the same three Inner West bars of which I have grown increasingly tired in the howevermanyyears I’ve been playing in FBH. Soon those songs will be out, and somewhat embarrassingly, the prospect of holding a copy of our debut EP (A Place I Once Called Home) in my hands fills me with the kind of excitement that a soon-to-be 27 year old musician should not justifiably feel - especially one who, to this point, has experienced nothing remotely close to that which any outside observer, parental figure, or romantic partner may consider success in music.
The thing is though, I am excited, and I don’t truck with this increasingly common idea that any person should play down their own joy in an effort to portray themselves as effortlessly nonchalant. As our lives transition from the breathing shitting world to the discursive hellhole of The Internet in 2026, the result (I think) is that people are afraid to be earnest. Even looking for the small, pure moments of joy in life must be couched in these semi-ironic pieces of content like “romanticising my morning commute as a 27 year old banker”, in which there is an undercurrent of reference to this idea that the person making the video KNOWS that it’s a bit silly, just to deflect from the uncomfortable feeling of genuine expression, or from the pejoratives soon to be hurled their way.
I don’t say this from atop some lofty pedestal. Despite my impassioned proselytising against the myriad algorithms that are fucking killing us, I’m the first person who can be found doomscrolling their life away, hunched over, curtains down, thinking over and over ‘you piece of shityou piece of shitjust get the FUCKout of bed’ until I somehow summon the strength to pull myself into the real world. In fact I was doing that just now. I hate it with such a singular venom.
blahblahblah anyway
My point is that I think all of this numbs me out a lot. And in light of that, telling you that I am excited, to me feels like I’m rallying against the guy that is embarrassed to say he is proud of himself, proud of his music, proud of his band, and glad to be alive. And I know the world is burning! We’re all sick, we’re all hurting, and we’re all just fucking stuck here with each other. We made the pretty thing and we dealt with the consequences later.
I know this!
I’m not saying the world is light and I’m not saying we should be more positive and I’m not preaching some tawdry cheap John Lennon bullshit.
All I’m telling myself is that in the face of all this, every day I will be resolute - and what lightness there is to find I will find, and hold onto it for dear life because in all of this muck, what few moments of something real, what little threads of joy we run into - they are all we have and I think that’s the closest thing to a reason I can find.
Right now I feel the impulse to acknowledge the self-indulgence I am displaying by even writing this - which is fucking ridiculous! I’m not forcing anyone to read this! I guess it’s the same impulse behind semi-ironic TikToks that keep cluttering up my feed. I don’t want anyone to accuse me of self-indulgence, so I feel as though I have to beat them to the punch. Does that make sense?
I have a feeling this year is going to be a good year. My band is playing shows, and we’re putting out our debut EP. Preorders will open for that whenever we get our shit together, so keep an eye out! Three tour dates are being announced today (with more to follow), and we’re playing with some of our favourite bands in the whole entire world. I kind of don’t believe that the concept of cool exists, yet contradictorily I feel so unbelievably cool that bands like Tallulah want to share a bill with us. Is that embarrassing to say? If it is, then let me scream it from the top of the Harbour Bridge, because my band is fucking back, and I’m 26, I’m alive, and I’m going on tour!!
Until next time,
Haz :)
